Just recently I was asked by a good friend how I perceive love. By far one of the most thought provoking questions I’ve had in a while. Instead of answering her, I asked her more questions about her question. I didn’t know if she meant how I feel it or give it. After much deliberation we decided to talk about how it feels when I receive it. This was a lot harder to put down on paper, so I decided to write about how I present my love for someone, and realized that it is how I guess I feel love from someone as well. Maybe not word for word, but if 80% of my list is given back to me, I’d say that’s a good start.
I’m going to give a bit of my thought process of loving someone as well as how I feel on the topic of love.
From my experience, dating someone as a blind individual has it’s benefits as well as draw backs. one benefit is you don’t get distracted with some of the meaningless qualities that sight has to offer, and you get to really take in the person as they are. one draw back is… not being able to drive. for me although it’s not a huge deal, I’d like to be able to pick up my date and take her some where of our choosing.
Growing up I always told myself “You might not get to see your future significant other, so don’t go off looks alone.” Foreshadowing much? While I had sight it was never the deciding factor on whether or not I dated a girl, granted I didn’t date the bearded lady or anything, but luckily my previous relationships were with mentally as well as physically attractive women. One thing I have always told myself is that looks can go away in an instant or with time as we age or bodies are neglected. But if someone knows who they genuinely are, that stays and doesn’t change much, and that is where the true beauty is.
An analogy I like to use when talking about a relationship is comparing it to a rose. When the conditions are right, you’ll get a beautiful bloom. If you try to rush or try to force it, it will never bloom, or be unhealthy. So take your time, nurture, and above all love
I am quick to like someone and slow to love, not because I don’t want to or am guarded, but because I think love is a powerful emotion and can really hurt someone if not expressed genuinely. to me if you’re going to tell someone you love them, you mean it and know what those words mean and the weight they carry. because of these beliefs I don’t hand out “I love you’s” like compliments at a feel good convention, but if I do express it to you, know you’re extremely important to me.
So you’ve made it to my “I Love You” club. Not gonna lie, when you’re my significant other it’s going to be a very exclusive club with one member. Sorry not sorry.
As an exclusive club member you’ll receive these individualized benefits:
When I am involved or in love with a woman, it’s not about me anymore, it’s about us. I can’t make her be the best version of herself there is, but I will support, love, and assist in bringing out her potential.
When you’re hurt, I want to care for you.
When you’re scared, I want to protect you.
When you’re happy, I want to laugh and play with you.
When you’re angry, I want to love you.
throughout the day there is always a little part of you with me, and if something happens good or bad, you’re the first person I want to share it with. to either seek comfort or share a laugh.
If I am traveling and you’re not there, I want to bring a little reminder back for a memento to share the experience with you .
There will be times in our life when I’ll show you more love than I show myself. The situation could be because there is something significant coming up, I just feel a big surge of emotion for you, or you are going through a rough patch in your life and may need a little extra love sent your way.
Your opinions and beliefs will always be considered, and not ridiculed, because they make you who you are. If you want to express a thought, question, belief, or idea I’ll meet it with open ears. I’m a very curious person and love to hear others points of view, but also because we can have a discussion about whatever it is on your mind and learn something from each other or discover something together.
to me loving someone is.
Understanding, compromising, accepting, caring, growing, experiencing, respecting, and appreciating each other. So much more can be added in here, and that’s up to you what you want to put in place.
These are just some of the ways I know how to express love for a significant other. She doesn’t have to do these and may even have a totally different way of expressing it, but if I receive some of these qualities in return, I would be a happy camper because some of my love languages are being spoken.
So in a nutshell reciprocation of positive energy, affection, support, respect, and companionship would be ways I’d feel like I was loved.
So tell me, how do you express and receive love? It’s an amazing gift to bestow on someone, and it is uniquely you. So give that one of a kind love to some one special. If you want to send some my way share this post, comment, and enjoy loving someone in your life.
I want to say thank you to Vanessa for the great question and wish her well.
Also check out this amazing book by Gary Chapman. It’s an awesome read and a ton of in sights into how people feel and give love.